Saying Goodbye to Rusty
A couple of weeks ago I went out to the barn to see Rusty. Rusty was our old Great Pyrenees livestock guard dog who has been with us for over ten years. He was one of the most incredible dogs I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
But that day Rusty didn’t know me. because he was dying.
I was filled with regret. I wished I had been there one more time with him. Why couldn’t I have just one more time to love on him, when he knew me? Why does death cheat us of our loved ones? – take them from us before we are ready? I wanted to know, anger burning, tears not stinging yet.
I took the kids out to see him. They looked at him and didn’t understand why he didn’t raise his head in greeting, why he didn’t look at them. My oldest explained that his muscles were in the process of trying to relax. His breathing was beginning to cease. His eyes had already stopped focusing. He was really gone already, his spirit seemed to have already flown away.
Rusty last November
The alpacas that he had guarded kept coming in and milling around. They didn’t seem to notice that their big protector was gone, but I did. It sliced through my heart like a hot knife cuts through butter. I swiftly hustled the kids out of the barn, swiping at tears with the back of my hand, forgetting the box of tissues I carried.
“How in the world am I going to dig a hole big enough to put him in?” I fretted to myself as I hugged my babies one by one as they walked by me on their way back to the house in the sweltering heat.
On my small farm we don’t have a backhoe, though it is at the top of the my wish list for my next farm. Let’s face it. Digging a huge grave in South Alabama in the summer is just not fun. Nothing about it is fun.
Usually when animals die on our farm, the children gather flowers and place them on the grave, especially if it was a beloved animal like Rusty. Usually they make designs like crosses and things. There was something special about how this time they just threw flowers all over with abandon for Rusty! He and his partner Joy, were our first livestock guard dogs. They have been with us since the the beginning of our alpaca farm. This was a sad day for us all.
We will really miss you old boy…..
Read more about Rusty here.
July 12th, 2010 at 7:44 am
With tears rolling down my face…I’m so sorry.
Liz@HoosierHomemade´s last blog ..How to Decorate your Mantle for Summer
July 12th, 2010 at 7:44 am
I just wanted to say that I want to give you all a hug. HUGS!
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July 12th, 2010 at 7:46 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. *Hugs*
July 12th, 2010 at 8:17 am
I’m so sorry.
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July 12th, 2010 at 8:29 am
I’m so sorry. It’s never easy to lose a pet, no matter how it happens. {{{{HUGS}}}
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July 12th, 2010 at 8:35 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose a pet – they truly are members of the family.
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July 12th, 2010 at 8:46 am
What a beautiful remembrance of Rusty. Sounds like he was a very loved dog and had a good life with your family. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet and am keeping you and the kids in my thoughts and prayers. (((big hugs)))
Tanya´s last blog ..Jungle Boogie Corriedale Batts
July 12th, 2010 at 9:10 am
*big hugs* There is something about a dog that reaches into our souls deeper than any other animal. Very sorry to hear of your loss.
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July 12th, 2010 at 9:20 am
Rusty was a very special dog. He seemed to always have a smile on his face when he greeted you. He more than any of the other guard dogs gave true meaning to what unconditional love is all about. Regardless of his own difficulties (gradual loss of hearing and sight)He continued on with his duties everyday earning his often referred to nickname of “Trusty”. It was very sad to be away when he passed on. He will always be remembered for his smiling face and commitment to those he watched over and shared his heart with. Rusty’s spirit lives on!
July 12th, 2010 at 9:44 am
Thank you for sharing Rusty’s passing with us… It’s never easy to loose a trusted friend. Tearfully sad, my heart goes out to you and your family!
Moonsong Ranch Alpacas´s last blog ..Shearing Day at Moonsong Ranch
July 12th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
We lost our Jethro in November. I still miss him. Hugs to you and your family including the canine ones. Our Lucy still misses Jethro too and wanders about looking for him.
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July 12th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Oh, tears are gushing right now. It reminds me of my Tucker’s last day. How do you explain to children that have grown up with a dog (especially one loved so much) that he doesn’t recognize them. We buried our Tucker similar to your Rusty but I love the flowers you added.
Big Hugs to all of you. xoxo
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July 12th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
I’ve buried a number of animals in my lifetime and dogs have always been the hardest to let go. But I know I will see all my pets again again. The scriptures do not specifically say dogs will be in heaven, but how could it be a perfect place without them?
July 12th, 2010 at 6:00 pm
I’ve lost many pets over the years, but dogs are always the hardest. I think because they understand us better than we understand ourselves.
I’m so sad for you all.
Kathryn | Alpacamundo´s last blog ..Tipping
July 13th, 2010 at 7:33 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand as I lost my cat Zachary Mr. Crabby Pants a couple of years ago and I miss him every day.
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July 14th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Katy and kids, We are so sorry to hear about Rusty passing away. Tears are rolling down my cheeks….It isn’t easy when we loose any one of our animals. Blessings to all of you…..Lori
July 20th, 2010 at 9:36 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m teary-eyed after reading your sweet words about your beloved dog Rusty. He was lucky to be so clearly loved by you and your family and you were blessed with that unconditional love that only a loyal dog can give. How lucky you were to have found each other.
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July 23rd, 2010 at 3:37 pm
It was a sad, hurtful day we had to say good-bye to Wagner and then to Lad. Those Great Pyrs are the bestest dogs to have on a farm with livestock. Have you or will you replace him? They truly define great, don’t they?
August 18th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Hi Kathy,
Just wanted to say what a great boy Rusty must have been. If you ever just want to talk pyrs I am in south Al. also and have four. I also lost one of my girls in December. My only guard our property, and their futon but they do a great job at that.
Lisa