A couple of weeks ago I went out to the barn to see Rusty.  Rusty was our old Great Pyrenees livestock guard dog who has been with us for over ten years. He was one of the most incredible dogs I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

But that day Rusty didn’t know me. because he was dying.

I was filled with regret. I wished I had been there one more time with him. Why couldn’t I have just one more time to love on him, when he knew me? Why does death cheat us of our loved ones? – take them from us before we are ready? I wanted to know, anger burning, tears not stinging yet.

I took the kids out to see him. They looked at him and didn’t understand why he didn’t raise his head in greeting, why he didn’t look at them. My oldest explained that his muscles were in the process of trying to relax. His breathing was beginning to cease. His eyes had already stopped focusing. He was really gone already, his spirit seemed to have already flown away.

Rusty last November

The alpacas that he had guarded kept coming in and milling around. They didn’t seem to notice that their big protector was gone, but I did. It sliced through my heart like a hot knife cuts through butter. I swiftly hustled the kids out of the barn, swiping at tears with the back of my hand, forgetting the box of tissues I carried.

“How in the world am I going to dig a hole big enough to put him in?” I fretted to myself as I hugged my babies one by one as they walked by me on their way back to the house in the sweltering heat.

On my small farm we don’t have a backhoe, though it is at the top of the my wish list for my next farm. Let’s face it. Digging a huge grave in South Alabama in the summer is just not fun. Nothing about it is fun.

Usually when animals die on our farm, the children gather flowers and place them on the grave, especially if it was a beloved animal like Rusty. Usually they make designs like crosses and things. There was something special about how this time they just threw flowers all over with abandon for Rusty! He and his partner Joy, were our first livestock guard dogs. They have been with us since the the beginning of our alpaca farm. This was a sad day for us all.

We will really miss you old boy…..

Read more about Rusty here.

In recent days, I had been nursing an alpaca that our vet suspected had developed a gastric ulcer (perhaps more than one). To paraphrase a beloved and revered vet in the alpaca industry, “When an alpaca develops a stomach ulcer, she usually goes on to alpaca heaven.”  We had been treating our alpaca girl, throwing everything but the kitchen sink at her trying to save her…but nothing seemed to be working. Sad, resigned, I continued to treat her, and to try.

On this particular morning,  the kids had just gotten off to school, and I was hoping to take a little bit of time at the house before heading to the barn. The Artist was doing farm chores that morning to give me a break. I had just settled in to pay some bills and do some seriously neglected paperwork, when I realized that the Artist was heading out there first thing. Oh no! I jumped up and threw on some clothes.

Murphy’s Law. What Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong. You know how this law applies to your life right? I believe this life applies in spades on a farm.

Remember how I said that the Artist is hit the hardest by death? Well, he also has the uncanny, extremely unfortunate ability to happen upon about 80% of animals that have died as well. Luckily alpacas are pretty hearty creatures and it doesn’t happen a lot, but I swear when it does happen HE always seems to be the one to be there. Because he’s the one who’s the most heartbroken. It really stinks.

I had been working the farm all week, and was really looking forward to the Artist doing some chores for me that morning so I could stay inside (where it was warm & cozy) past 9am, but I did not have a good feeling about my little ulcer girl so I flew out the door. I wanted to get to the patient before he did.

Whew! I could see that the Artist was still at the boys’ barn. Yes! Bullet dodged! I scurried to the main barn, said a quick good morning to my herdsire Magnum, and went to check on my little girl with the ulcer.

I stopped still in front of her stall.

She was all alone in there. dead.

“Damn,” I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

I stomped my foot just a little. My breath made a cloud in front of me from the cold.

I went into my office and wrote “deceased” on her paperwork with a wry sense of satisfaction that I had gotten some paperwork accomplished.

Then I went in search of a tarp with which I could move her sad, lifeless body.

I found a tarp in the shed. As I was coming back with the tarp I saw the Artist. Seeing the tarp, he knew that my patient had died. We exchanged sympathetic looks, and I headed back for the barn.

As I was walking through the gates and closing them behind me, I was thinking about millions of things. Meanwhile my brain was processing these additional thoughts as I looked at the alpacas as I passed by them:

baby alpaca. grey alpaca. tiny alpaca. there are no babies in that pen. wait. there should be no babies in that pen.

Finally my brain focused in on what it was trying to see and process:

We had been blessed with a new baby alpaca that morning!

Even though his dam, Rose Point, had not been due for three whole weeks, she had had a healthy rose gray baby boy!

The elation we felt was a balance to the sadness of losing our little girl from the ulcer. The rainy day was saved by the sunshine at the end. Does the sunshine make up for all the rain? No, but they work together to form the very fabric of life. They are woven together, like a tapestry. It is impossible to have one without the other.

I believe that farming is a metaphor for life, a venue for life to play out on nature’s stage. There is death and there is life. And what a blessed day it is when you can see all these things at work in the back yard before 10:30AM.

Picture this but as a HOUSE! photo from the Yurt Alert

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about yurts on an alpaca farm in the Green Alpaca video. I just learned about Kate Pokorny’s mission to crochet a yurt. Her plan is to create a functional yurt out of a continuous strand of felted wool to create a lovely self-supporting housing structure, like a wooly igloo. In this short video Kate talks about her project:

Kate is working with Kickstarter to raise funds for the yurt. Your donation will help her be able to create the wooly yurt, and depending on the level, you can get your own mini-yurt or even a visit to stay in the yurt. Learn more about donating here. Read a great article about Kate knitting an entire house at The Daily Green and at The Daily Grommet. You can learn more on Kate’s site, the Yurt Alert. Please consider donating (even a dollar) to this project. It’s huge!

So what have you Fiberistas been up to this week? Baking? Shopping? Wrapping? Cooking? Have you had time for your fibery pursuits? Let us know below. Link your blog posts.

(And Don’t Forget to Shop with our Fiber Arts Friday Participants this holiday season. Their links are to their shops. Consider buying handmade from these fiber artists.)

Fiber Arts Friday Blog Carnival!

To participate:

1. In the Mr. Linky wigdget below add the permalink to a specific blog post that features something Fiber Art related .
2. If using a blog, Link back to Fiber Arts Friday from your post so that your readers can come and see everyone else’s shops! Use the button or a text link to http://www.alpacafarmgirl.com.
3. Visit as many of the other participants’ blogs as possible. Leave them some comment luv.

Participating in Wordless Wednesday

Our Alpaca Farm is for sale. We love our farm so much. Over the years we’ve gotten everything just how we’d like it. But we want to be able to expand our alpaca farm so a move is in order. (This farm can comfortably hold 50-60 alpacas.)

Our farm is in Fairhope, Alabama, which is along the coast of Mobile Bay. Fairhope has a wonderful small-town feel, but is within an hour of the larger cities of Pensacola, FL and Mobile, AL. Fairhope has excellent public schools and a “Mayberry” type atmosphere. Fairhope is a place where the arts and culture are highly esteemed. It has a gorgeous new library, public art, flower lined roads, decorated streetcorners, and more. The farm is less than 15 minutes from all the conveniences of town.

As an incentive we are now also offering an alpaca starter herd to go with the property. This package includes three female and two male huacaya alpacas. Two of the females will be bred soon. The other is a weanling who sells with her maiden breeding included. The males have good genetics and can be used as sires. This package comes with long-term customer support.

Not looking for a farm but know someone who is? We will happily pay a $5,000 Finders Fee the person who brings us a Buyer*. Spread the Word! To visit our property listing click here. To see even more pictures click here.

*Some restrictions may apply. Contact Katy at alpacas (at) bellsouth.net for more information.

They also loved climbing their favorite tree in the alpaca mom and cria pen.

I was so busy with indoor activities (like cooking), that I didn’t remember to take pictures inside. I’m glad that I remembered to bring the camera when we introduced our little cousin to the alpacas.

The little guy wasn’t so sure about the alpacas. When he wants someone or some creature to give him some space he holds his hand out and says, “Go Away.” Simple and possibly effective. I wish my cousins lived closer. At least we can see them on Facebook.

What did you do for Thanksgiving? Leave a comment telling what was your favorite part of your Thanksgiving.

More Thanksgiving posts:

Thankful for my Agri-Bliss

Thanksgiving on the Farm 2008

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Participating in Sunday Citar

Fall is a wonderful time of year for alpacas on our farm.

Participating in Wordless Wednesdays.

Autumn's Fire

This week I’ve been dyeing alpaca yarn and fiber using Fall colors. Since we live in the South, summers are our most challenging season on the farm. This makes Autumn my favorite season. It brings such a welcome relief from the seemingly endless hot, humid days.

Butternut

What better way to revel in the season than creating fiber products that reflect its beauty?

Pumpkin Harvest

My dyed yarns and fiber can be found in my Etsy shop.

What have you been doing with fiber this week? Share with us below by linking your blog post to Fiber Arts Friday.

Fiber Arts Friday Blog Carnival!

To participate:

1. Add the permalink to a specific blog post that features something Fiber Art related, rather than your general blog address and not your Etsy store. (Please DO put a link in your blog post that takes us to your store though.)
2. Link back to Fiber Arts Friday from your post so that your readers can come and see everyone else’s projects! Use the button or a text link to http://www.alpacafarmgirl.com.
3. Visit as many of the other participants as possible and leave comments! That’s what helps us all connect!

I took this photograph at our friends, Terry and Cindy Labbie’s alpaca ranch, Wolf River Alpacas.

Participating in Wordless Wednesday.