Since the economy has gone south, making ends meet is more difficult for even the most talented artists. I had to share with you some of the jobs that our friend & famous sculptor Sharles is currently pursuing:
- Teacher of sculpting & painting
- Photographer of flowers
- Expert opinionated art critic
- Amateur brain surgeon (non invasive type)
- Amateur psychiatrist (invasive type)
- Will spread rumorers
- Art advisor
- Art instigator
- Muralist
- Provide original designs to your tattoo artist
- House or plant sitter
- Poodle sitter
- Agent
- Advisor
- Physic
- Ghost hunter-collaborator
- Will haunt a premises (similar to house sitter but union scale)
- Read your palm
- Tell fortunes at parties
- Lie about your past, or fabricate one, if you want a better one. (List & prices available on request.)
- Post the same on web
- Weather consultant
- Computer addict
- Throwing the bird
- Can throw about anything I can lift
- Expert at cussing
- Hosting classical tea parties or coffee/chocolate parties
- Cooking with beer
- Slamming politicians
- Will help you ignore your neighbors
- Expert at recognizing neanderthrals, half whits, full-of-it whits, retarded socialites, sunflower & clown expert (as in, “Yea, that’s a sun flower, and that’s a clown”)
- Writer/critic to & of rich, famous, hysterical, and would be types
- Will forge your name to petitions
- Will do paper work for you to enter: reality tv shows and locker rooms
- Forge press credentials
- Sell you stuff
- Photograph you in leather or other fetish stuff
- Write resumes for you (if you really don’t want the job, can help get you fired so you can collect benefits
- Not defend you in court, but cuss your scumbag lawyers
- Hold illegal gambling money (from spouse, not IRS)
- Walk your dog, monkey or cat
- Feed your parrot
- Build up your confidence and ego with false praise
- Build up political aspirations with same
- Will pretend to be someone else on phone to fool other people in room
- Eavesdropping
- Will paint your toe nails & laugh at you jokes
- Taste test & critique beer
- Be a stand in groom, or best man at wedding rehearsals
- Ring church bells
If you can think of anything else you would pay me to do…including going away. Yes I expect to be paid for that. Some of my skills& ideas are listed above. I am looking for buyers: (Granted some are addictions — but i am still good at them.) How serious I am about the jobs depends on how serious money is (Up front). ~ Sharles
If you would like to inquire about Sharles availability he can be contacted at sharlesart (at) gmail.com. See his artwork here. Sharles’ candelabra pictured right.
